中国还是“礼仪之邦”么？——2011级翻译
&Does China remain a country of
中国是“礼仪之邦”，这是古话。如今还是么？我怀疑。
&As an old saying goes, “China is a country of
courtesy.” I was wondering whether the situation has been
我这一怀疑肯定要遭人骂的。不过，你先别骂，一是因为，你若骂街就正好证明我的怀疑是
&My doubt will undoubtedly be condemned. Would
you mind holding down your criticism for a while? On the one hand,
my doubt would turn out to be verified in case you break out into
对的了，二是因为我们可以看看下文所说的中国人不够礼貌和日本人够礼貌的对比是否属
On the other hand, it offers us an excellent chance for our
confirmation of the following comparison between Chinese behaviors
and Japanese ones, and it reveals those terrible manners around to
实，还可以看看咱们周围的不礼貌现象。
（2005（在《外国语》的最后一期的一篇文章））论及东方的礼貌的时候举例都是汉语、汉语、日语，当然他没有其他东方语言的语例，否则还要涵盖更多语言和国家的。
Leech had cite Chinese, Korean, Japanese as an instance when he
mentioned oriental courtesy in one article published in Foreign
Language in 2005. Naturally, he abandoned other oriental languages
as examples in virtue of none coverage of more countries and
languages.
他以为这几个国家都是礼貌的，同等礼貌，都代表了礼貌的东方。我赞赏他的洞察力和对语用学的贡献，也赞赏和珍惜他和我个人的私人友谊。但是怀疑，即保持上述怀疑。（当然也很感谢他老人家的赞赏。）
Those equally courteous countries chosen were on behalf of
courteous the Orient. His keen insight, contribution to pragmatics
and personal friendship with me is worthy of my admiration and
cherish. However, it makes no difference and my doubt stand still
as above. His appreciation is thankfully accepted.
他说到东方（如中国）的“礼貌战争”（politeness battles）或者“礼貌拔河”（tug of
politeness），就是在邀请和拒绝上不断“争执”，邀请者不请两三回绝对不罢休，受邀者也不能一请就答应赴宴。根据他的模式，邀请者若是真诚的，要请3回。拒绝者若是真要拒绝（如不方便时）也要拒绝3回。
Referring to the oriental (Chinese for instance) politeness
battles or tug of politeness, Leech comprehended it as continuous
disputation over inviting and rejecting since the inviter and the
invitee will be involved in an inviting-and-rejecting game for
twice or more. According to his pattern, the inviter should offer
his invitation for three times to show his sincerity. Vice versa,
the invitee rejects for three times to indicate his heartfelt
unwillingness or
inconvenience.&&
[朱桂兰&傅航航]
China, still a Nation with Courteous Civilization?
China, as it was ancient value, was a nation of courteous
civilization. Is it still one? I’m doubtful.
By saying this, I know I’m going to be scolded. Please take back
your scolding, for on the one hand, such prompt scolding can
righ on the other hand, I would like you read
on to find out the answer for my doubt via contrast between Chinese
impoliteness and Japanese politeness as well as the varieties of
impoliteness around us.&
When he discussed on the politeness in oriental countries in his
article published in the last issue of Journal of Foreign Languages
2005, Geoffrey N. Leech mostly provided examples in Chinese, Korean
and Japanese languages. For sure, he didn’t provide more cases in
other oriental languages, or he would cover more countries and
their languages. He believed the countries he exemplified are of
similar politeness and so they are representatives of the polite
orient. As the same as he appreciates me for which I’m very
grateful, I appreciate his insight and contribution to the study of
pragmatics as well as cherish our personal friendship while I keep
By discussing on “the politeness battles” or “the tug of
politeness” in the orient, e.g., China, Leech means the continual
rounds of inviting and rejecting, that is, the inviter shows his
politeness by several times of inviting to dinner while the invitee
shows his politeness by rejecting as least once. As far as he
understands, the inviter must repeat twice of his invitation to
show his sincerity and the invitee needs to reject all the three
times to show his rejection if he is really unable to follow.
Here is a dialogue example to illustrate this point.
Student: Mr. Brown, I would like to invite you and Mrs. Brown
for dinner tonight.
Mr. Brown: No, thank you, but you don’t need to invite us.
Student: Mr. Brown, you’ve helped me a lot, for what I wanted to
invite you earlier. Please take it (Please do me the honour).
Mr. Brown: Thanks, but you really don’t need to invite us. It’s
been my pleasure if I’ve helped you.
Student: Mr. Brown, just take my invitation. I’ll see you at six
in Daqian Restaurant. See you then.(Be there or be square.)
Mr. Brown: Well, it’s okay. To be frank, I have another
appointment tonight. Let’s delay it. Thank you for your constant
sincerity. (朱桂兰)
&Students should let the teacher leave first
when the class is over. However, my students all leave one by one
even before I really call it a day, so I become the one who turn
off the computers, pack the chaos, turn off the light, and then
close the door. If I bumping into one of my friends who do not know
the whole story, he would definitely ask me, “Since when were you
deployed to SISU for taking charge of the support
services?”&
&Where did our etiquette go? You might say “we
are not in society but in school now, and we will pay attention to
etiquette once we enter in society.” I have never, however, heard
that somebody could do something in society which he could not do
in school. The school etiquette is not only done for teachers, but
also is training and learning of manners. Besides, students can
regard it as probation and internship of manners preparing for
If a student writes out an essay, he will surely send it to his
tutor with gladness. It is apprehensible that the tutor inspects
his student’s essay and makes some suggestions. Nevertheless, the
student is expected to be polite. He should send a politely written
email, better with a call. Most importantly of course, the essay
needs to be thoroughly revised and collated, in order to make sure
that there are no fatal errors. No student should send a rough
draft version to his teacher. The way a student treats teacher’s
comments and suggestions should also be polite. If he wants the
revised version inspected by his teacher, he should be even more
polite. Consider that how to save teacher’s effort? In other words,
try not to make the teacher to inspect the full version this time.
The student must give credits and thanks to his teacher in such
cases, via text messages, emails, calls and face-to-face
communication
&Show respect to teachers when writes your
essays, and also when you does your homework and has your
examinations. There is so much to pay attention to, while the most
important one is no plagiarizing. Those who cheat have no respect
to the teachers at all.
These are just my own experiences and opinions. And I have not
compared our etiquette to that of the Japanese and the Westerners
It’s painful to have the above description and doubts. I hope
that you all will prove me wrong.（傅航航）
[陈捷&邱欢]
Is China still a State of Ceremonies?
As the old saying goes, China is a "state of ceremonies". But is
it still? I have my doubts.
Although I am bound to get my names called for proclaiming
doubts in such a matter, you can hold your tongue for just a
minute. Because, A, if you didn't, you would prove my doubts, and
B, before you do curse, we can take a look at the following
comparison between Chinese and Japanese, and judge the truthfulness
of the latter being polite and former not. Also, I will list some
of the cases of discourteousness we see in our daily lives.
Leech cited in his writings about Oriental courtesy only
examples with the Chinese and Japanese languages. Had he possessed
examples of other Oriental languages, his writings would no doubt
have covered more languages and countries. From his point of view,
people in both those countries are equally courteous, representing
an Orient with good manners. While I appreciate and admire his fine
perspicacity and his enormous contribution to Pragmatics, treasure
the friendship between him and myself, I remain the foregoing
doubts in this matter. (His recognition on my work is duly
appreciated)
He referred to the phenomena of "politeness battles" or "tug of
politeness" existing in the oriental societies (for instance,
China) as the relentless "battles" in invitation and declination.
In a case of such "battles", the inviter would never stop before
two or three rounds of invitation is proposed and the one invited
is not supposed to accept the invitation as soon as it is
proposed.According to Leech's formula, if an inviter truly means to
invite, he would have to propose the invitation three times and if
the one invited does want to decline ( due to schedule problems),
three rounds of declination is also
required.&&&
&For Instance:
First round of the tug:
"Mr. Something, something, I'd like to invite you and your wife
to a dinner tonight, are you available?"
"Thank you, but there is really no need to do so."
Round two of the tug:
"You've helped me so much. I should have invited you long time
ago. Please, do come."
"Thank you a lot. However, it is my duty to help you. Plus, I
really helped that much."
Round Three of the tug:
"Mr. Something, something. Please, do come. Six O'clock, tonight
it is. At the Everyone Diner in the World restaurant, I will wait
there till the cows come home."
"OK, then./ En. Thanks. But, really, I have a previous
engagement. So we can arrange for other time. Thank you again.
You've so very nice."
This case could continue( in discussing when exactly the next
time will be). All in all, what Leech meant to mean is that
Easterners are very polite in inviting people, their generosity
reflected not only during the banquets but also in the language
used in invitation.
I often kidded about not like being invited to dinner. Some
students, however, did try to invite me and after their invitations
were turned down, they assented to the rumor that Mr. Hou doesn't
like invitations to dinner. They may be right, but when they tried
to invite me, did they even bother to "tug"? If did, how many
I often get my feet stepped on when standing on a bus or waiting
in a line. At times like this, I would have my"not at all" readily
prepared, waiting for the other party's "I am sorry". But, nines
time of ten, the other party would remain silent, and my "Not at
all" went unsaid. At times, I got to say"I am sorry" which made the
other guy even more silent and everybody else confused.
(陈捷）&&&
As a teacher, the impoliteness I encountered in class is
countless.
Naturally, the students should greet their teachers before
class, such as a solute. Maybe you think it only happens in
kindergarten or elementary school. Perhaps! On the contrary, no
greetings to each other before going down to the business directly
make me feel unnatural.
Virtually, when you are late for a while for class, you should
ask for admission to get in. Once the teacher let you in, you
should make an apology. After that the teacher may offer you your
seat, you should extend your thanks before you take it. If you are
late too much, these are musts, besides, you had better provide
excuses or promises and bear in your mind that you are not allowed
Politely, if the teacher want to ask someone (such as Zhang
sanfeng) a question or for a speech, this student should respond
with “here!” or “yes, sir!” immediately. But usually I am not sure
if there is a man like this, or there is, but he is not in the
classroom. If he is really in the classroom, I wonder he could hear
me or not.
Principally, when class is over, the teacher should be the first
one who leaves the classroom. But, my students get away one after
one before I declare the end, leaving myself turning off the
computer, packing up, powering off the lights, closing the door.
Thus, a friend who does not know my job comes into me may say，“when
do you transfer to SISU and do logistics?”(I don’t mean logistic
job is indecent, but that is not part of my work!)
Where does our etiquette go? You may say that here is school,
not society and that we will carry out good manners in society. But
I never heard that one will do the things in society that he or she
is not willing to do in school. The etiquette in school is not only
done to show the teachers, but also to cultivate one’s manners. All
right, let’s just take it an internship of politeness.
Supposed a student wrote a paper, he must be happy to send it to
his teacher and let it be checked and commented, it is natural.
But, he must be polite. The email-sending should be polite. He’d
better beg the favor first by phone. Of course, his paper must be
modified and proofread again and again to make sure it has no gross
errors. He couldn’t send the draft to the teacher. He should also
be polite to the teacher’s notes and advice. If he sends his
revised version and wants it be scrutinized again, he should be
more polite. He should consider how to make it easy for the
teacher, that is, to the greatest extent, to avoid forcing the
teacher to scan from the beginning to the end of his essay. Also,
he should high value and appreciate the teacher’s efforts through
sending message or email, more formally, by phoning and extending
thanks face to face.
Not only writing a paper, but also doing homework and exams, so
on and so forth, we should respect our teachers. There are a lot of
things we should pay special cares. The most important thing is not
to plagiarize. Plagiarist is the biggest shame to the teachers.
All above is my humble thoughts based on my personal experiences
and I haven’t made them a contrast with the Japanese, the British
and the American.&
All the suspicions above makes a man hurt, hoping you can prove
that my doubts are completely worries.& （邱欢译）
[贺贤超&彭兴]
China, Still a State of Ceremonies?
An ancient Chinese saying goes “China is a state of ceremonies”.
But now I doubt the credibility of it. I know my suspicion will
surely invite some scolds. Yet, please hold your tongue first,
because if you swear, it would be a convincing evidence to prove my
thought. Besides, you can judge the truth or false of the following
statement which says that Chinese people are not as polite as
Japanese people and you can as well think about the impolite
phenomena in our daily life.
& In his paper (published in 2005 in the last
issue in the Journal of Foreign Languages), when talking about the
politeness of Orientals, the examples Leech enumerated were either
in Chinese or in Japanese. He listed no sentences in other oriental
languages, or he would have to cover more countries and
corresponding languages. He thought that these countries were all
states of ceremonies and that they were equally known for their
people’s politeness and he saw them all as representatives of the
polite Orient. I admire his piercing insight, his contribution to
pragmatics and cherish the personal friendship between us, yet this
does no help remove my doubt about the old saying.
& He mentioned the “politeness battles” or “tug
of politeness” on play in Asian countries like China. In such kind
of tug, the one who invites and the one who is invited are
frequently in “disagreement”. The inviter will not give up without
inviting several times and out of politeness, the invitee is not
supposed to accept it without several rounds of refusals. According
to Leech’s mode, if it is an sincere invitation, the inviter will
invite at least three times and if the invitee has to decline the
invitation, he also needs to refuse three times.
For example,
The first round of the tug:
“Professor, may I invite you and your wife to dinner
tonight?”
“It won’t be necessary. Thank you for your invitation.”
2nd Round:
“You’ve given me a lot of help and I have thought about treating
you for long. Please come.”
“Thank you. But it is really not necessary. To instruct you is
my job and what I’ve done is nothing.”
3rd Round:
“Professor, please don’t decline my invitation. Dinner is at 6
tonight in Daqian Restaurant. I will see you there!”
“Ok, then. Thank you for your invitation. But I really have an
appointment today, maybe next time. It’s very kind of you inviting
& This tug could go on and on (e.g. decide when
the next time is). Anyway, Leech thought that Eastern people are
very polite when treating others and one can see their generosity
from both the feast and the words they use in invitation. I often
jokingly say that I don’t like being invited to dinner. Some of my
students tried to invite me and they concluded that it was true
that that buddy really didn’t like being invited. Their conclusion
might be true, yet when inviting me, did they played the tug of
politeness? And how many rounds did the tug go?
I often get stepped by others on my toes when queuing up in a
bus stop or other places, and when it happens, I always wait for a
“sorry” and prepare to say “it doesn’t matter.” To my
disappointment, I hardly hear any apologies and thus my “it doesn’t
matter” seldom has the opportunity to get out of my throat. For a
couple of times, I apologized when I was trodden on my toes, which
only made the other one more silent than ever and people around us
As a teacher serving the people, I have encountered politeless
occasions more than I can count.
As a rule, students should give greetings and pay obeisance to
the teacher before the class. But you may protest that such rules
are only carried out in kindergartens and primary schools. Huh!
Maybe. Be that as it may, I still believe it is a little weird to
come straight to the topic without exchanging greetings, weird
Commonly speaking, If you coming late for a moment, you should
ask for the teacher’s permission to come into the room. After your
permission’s been approved, you should apologize for being late. If
the teacher gives you the permission to sit, you may sit after you
have expressed your thanks. When you have been late for quite a
while, all the above things should no doubt been said, moreover,
you should give reasons and make promises when you are apologizing,
and prepare for the possibility of being kept outside.
Generally speaking, when the teacher asks someone a question or
let someone to speak, for instance, “John!” John should response to
the calling with “ I’m here” or “ yes sir!”. But most times, it’s
either the case I don’t know whether this man is in our class or if
he is here today. If he does come, I’m not sure he is even
listening to me.
Customarily, when the class is over, the students should leave
the room after the teacher. However, in my class, the students
would leave one after another even though the class is hardly
ended. I am left to shut down the computer, turn off the lights and
close the door. If I run into some friends who are not acquainted
with the reasons why I’m doing things like these, he would say,
“Since when has you been doing a job for rear service in SISU?” (I
am against doing rear service, but my division of work is not rear
service!).
Why are we become so politeless? Maybe you’ll say, this is in
school, not in society. When we’re stepping into society, we will
show our etiquette. But I’ve never heard that one would do
something in society which he would not do in school. We do not
show politeness only to let our teachers see and listen to, but
also to study more about self-cultivation. It can be regarded as a
practice on etiquette.
If a student has written a paper, most of times he would sent it
to his teacher happily. It’s natural that the teacher gives his
reviews and makes some suggestions to him. But the students should
show politeness. The mail should send in a polite way. It’s better
to call and ask for permission first. Of course, what’s more
important is to alter and collate so as to make sure that there
were no noticeable errors. The draft mustn’t be sent to the
teacher. Then, you should show appreciation for your teacher’s
comments and suggestions. If the revised paper also needed to be
sent to the teacher, you should show more courtesy. Think about how
to save effort for the teacher. In other words, try not to let the
teacher see your paper from the beginning to the end. You should
consider that too. As for the teacher’s effort, you should show
your appreciation and give your thanks to him. Other than short
messages and emails, you should use telephone and give your thanks
in the presence of the teacher.
Moreover, there are many other circumstances in which you need
to respect the teacher such as doing homework and taking exams. You
should consider the dos and don’ts for the situation. The last
thing your teacher expect you to do is plagiarism, because it shows
you have absolute no respect for him.
What I mentioned above is just a little thought, I haven’t
compared us with the Japanese and the Englishmen and the American
These are just my doubts but it’s painful to think about them. I
hope you can prove they are completely rootless.
Is China still a “Country of Politeness”?
There’s an old saying that China is a “Country of Politeness”.
Is it still the case? I really doubt.
You must excoriate my suspicion, but please do reconsider it
before taking action because it would be the best proof if you
abuse me. And you will get the answer from following passages where
Chinese’ impoliteness and Japanese’ politeness is compared. Please
pay attention to the impolite phenomenon in your daily life as
Leech( in an article of the last periodical of Foreign
Languages in 2005) discusses politeness in eastern world, in
which he sets Chinese, Korean and Japanese as examples. He doesn’t
touch upon oth otherwise it will cover more
languages and countries. He thought these countries are all equally
polite enough to present a polite image of eastern world. I admire
his insight and contribution to Pragmatics, and also cherish my
private friendship with him. But I am still doubtful and insist my
doubt above. (Of course his praise on me is very much
appreciated)
In his view, “politeness battles” or “tug of politeness” in the
East (like China) is actually a continuous “debate” between
invitation and declination. The inviter won’t give up until sending
invitation for several times, while invitee won’t confirm
attendance until being invited for several times. His mode tells
that the sincere inviter should send invitation for 3 times, while
the serious rejection should be repeated for 3 times as well
For example,
In the first round of tug:
“Mr. X, could I invite you and Ms. X to have dinner together
tonight?”
“No, thanks. No need to be so generous.”
The&2nd round of tug:
“I should have invited you earlier as I feel grateful for what
you have done for me. It’s my great honor to have your
affirmation.”
The 3rd round of tug:
“Mr.X, please do not turn me down. Let’s make it at 1800 in
Daqian Restaurant. See you there!
Politeness of the tug might keep going(eg.to discuss how about
making it next time). Anyway, Leech found that people in the East
is polite when inviting guests, which is shown not only in generous
table manners but also subtle diction of invitation.
&I always joke that I don’t like being invited
to have dinner together even though a few students tried. Yes most
of students know me very well. However, any tug here when they sent
me invitation? How many rounds we had?
When I get stamped on the bus or in a queue, I would expect a
“sorry” from the person and prepare a reply of “It doesn’t matter”.
But in most cases the guy just keeps silent so my kind reply can
only be stuck in my throat. There were some cases that it’s me
extending apology, making that guy even quieter and both of us even
&As a teacher, I have been impolitely treated
for numerous times.
In principle, students should greet and salute teacher before
the class is started. You may argue that it was the case in
kindergarten or primary school. It could be, but I insist it’s a
little bit weird to get down to the business without mutual
greetings in the very beginning.
China Today——"the Land of Etiquette" ?
As an old proverb goes, China was "the Land of Etiquette". I
doubt, however, that whether this is true with China today.
I am ready to be spitted for having this doubt. I should give my
modest advice to those who are preparing to take out their swords
of tongues with the following two reasons: firstly, if anyone spits
at me, it proves secondly, we may consider the
comparative facts that Chinese are lack of etiquette while Japanese
are in reverse are genuine or not together with all the impolite
acts around.
When talking about the etiquette in the East, Leech (an article
in the last issue of the Journal of Foreign Languages,2005) listed
the examples in Chinese and Japanese languages. He may, of course,
cover a broader range of eastern languages and countries if he had.
He took it for granted that these countries have etiquette and they
are equally polite as representatives of the eastern courtesy. I
admire his insightfulness as well as his great contributions to
pragmatics. I appreciate my personal friendship with him. But I
won't change my idea about the doubt I mentioned
He mentioned the "politeness battles" or "tug of politeness" in
the east (such as in China), which means the continuous inviting
and refusing acts with endless invitations for three times or more
of the "invitor" and the hesitation of the "invitee". According to
this pattern,an invitation can not be sincere if he invites others
less than three times and the refusal (when inconvenient)can not be
serious as well. For example:
First round in tugging:
"Mr.X, can I invite you and Mrs.X to dinner tonight?"
"Oh, you are so kind. It is not really necessary."
Second round in tugging:
"I have received too much help from you and it's my dedication
to invite you to dinner.Could you please come ?"
"Thank you so much, but it's indeed not so important. It's my
duty to help you and I'm sorry for not having done more to help.
&Third round in tugging:
"You are too modest, Mr.X. What about six o'clock at the
'Master's Box' in Daqian restaurant this evening? Let's just make
"All right. / Oh, thank you very much. But I'm afraid that I
have another appointment this evening. We may call it another day.
Thank you all the same. It's so kind of you."
The "tug of politeness" may keep going(to discuss about the next
appointment etc.). All in all, what Leech wanted to point out is
that the Eastern people are generous in an invitation, both in
terms of the dishes and in terms of the utterances they use in an
invitation.
&I often joke about myself that I do not like
to be invited to dinner. Maybe some students have tried to invite
me, but they thought that Mr. Hou didn't like to be invited. Yeah,
"maybe". However, did they ever practise "tug of politeness" during
the invitation? If they did, how many rounds did they exercise?
It often occurs to me that someone steps over my feet on a bus
or in a queue and I always wait for a "Sorry" with full preparation
of an "All right" at the tip of my tongue. But the cases are very
likely to be the silence of that person. My "All right" has to be
held back to my throat. Sometimes I can do nothing but start with a
"Sorry" first, which makes that person more silent and only
confusion is left to us.
As a teacher in the school, the cases are countless
for& me to be treated impolitely.
&Generally speaking, the students should greet
the teachers before the class, or make salutes. You may think it a
matter of the kindergarten and primary school stuff. Ah! Probably.
Anyway, it feels strange to me catering straight to the point
without a greeting.
It's common sense that one should offer an "excuse me" if he is
late and apologize to the teacher. He can come into the classroom
and have a seat only after getting the permission (followed by a
thank). This is quite necessary especially for someone who is late
for long and he should give "reasons" or make "promises" in
addition even with the idea that he may not be allowed to
&It's common sense that a student should answer
"Here" or "Yes sir!" when his teacher asks him to answer a question
or to make comments. But I am always confused about whether this
student is in class or not,or if he does hear me.
It's common sense that the teacher should be the first to come
out of the classroom when a class is over. However, the students
leave one by one even before I finish my class. It's me to shut off
the electronic devices, to clear up my stuff, to turn off the
lights and to close the door. My friends who are not familiar with
this circumstance are likely to ask me when I change my job to
offer rear services if they happen to see me there. (It's not that
I shouldn't do the rear services but that my job is to teach.)
&Where is our etiquette? You probably will say
that it's in the school instead of in the society. Will we be more
polite in the society? I've never heard about one who learns to do
something in the society that he fails to do in the school. To be
polite in the school is not a performance for the teachers but a
cultivation of etiquette. It is the probation and internship before
one goes to work in the society.
If a student finishes a thesis, he will surely email it to his
teacher with great pleasure. It's a teacher's duty to read through
it and give him some advice. Nevertheless, the student should be
polite in the email. A phone call in advance is better. Of course,
it's more important to do several revisions and checks in case
there are some huge mistakes left. It's not appropriate to send a
draft to the teacher. Courtesy is required when one deals with the
teacher's notes and advice. More is needed to ask for the teacher's
suggestions for the second version. How to make it easier for the
teacher to handle the article? Try the best not to have him read
from the very beginning till the end. Positive confirmation and
expressions of gratitude are inevitable. A thank-you phone call and
face-to-face thanks are also necessary besides texts and
The teachers are to be respected with particular attention both
in terms of writing thesis and in terms of doing assignments or
exams. The most important thing is not to plagiarize, which is
considered the most indignant thing one can do to a teacher.
All that's mentioned above is my point of view. The comparison
of etiquettes among Chinese, Japanese,& English
and American people remain undone here.
I felt grieved when coming up with that doubt. I hope you can
prove my doubt to be proved wrong totally.
As the old saying goes, “China is a country of
courtesy”. Is it the same situation in present days? I’d like to
take it with a grain of salt.
This kind of doubt of mine will be definitely
condemned. But, hold back your words for a while. Why? Firstly, if
you want to have words with me, this kind of behavior absolutely
explicates that my dou secondly, we can just
see whether the accusation is true that Chinese people is not
polite enough while Japanese people is just more polite. We can
also see the impoliteness which happens around us.
Leech (a paper published in the last issue of
Journal of foreign languages in 2005) took Chinese, Korean
and Japanese for examples when discussed Oriental politeness.
Certainly, he did not take examples from any other Oriental
languages, otherwise more languages and countries would be
included. He assumed that these several countries were countries of
courtesy, and of equal courtesy, which represented the polite
Orient. His insight and contribution to pragmatics are appreciated.
The personal friendship between us are also appreciated and
cherished. But doubt is doubt, and my doubt is preserved as above.
(Of course, his appreciation is highly appreciated.)
Speaking of Oriental (Chinese) politeness battles
or tug of politeness, it is nothing but arguing about invitation
and rejection. The inviter won’t stop inviting unless he had
invited people twice or more, and the invited won’t accept the
invitation for the first round. According to his model, if the
inviter was sincere, three times of inviting was necessary. And
provided that the invited really wanted to say no to the inviter
(such as it was really inconvenient for him to take that
invitation), three time of saying-no is also necessary.
For example, the tug begins with the fist
“Mr. So-and-so, would you and Mrs. So-and-so like
to have dinner with me on my treat tonight?”
“Nope，never mind！Just forget it.”
&The second round:
“You have helped m I should
have invited you for dinner. May I have the honor?”
“Thank you. But, really never mind it. Helping you
is my duty. And the help is not worth mentioning about.
The third round:
“Mr. So-and-so, no more courtesy, please. Six
O’clock at “big family”, Da Qian Restaurant. Be there, be
“All right. / Ah, thank you. But, to be honest, I
have been invited by someone else. Let’s make it another time, OK?
Thanks a lot, you’re being so kind.”
&This tug of politeness may go on
and on (such as discussing about when is “the” another time to have
dinner). Whatsoever, what Leech means is that the Oriental is very
polite in inviting someone. Its generosity is not only manifested
on the table, but also in the language for invitation.
I always said for fun that I was not fond of having
meals with someone and being invited. There were some bold students
trying to invite me. Yes！Alfred was not fond of being invited for
dinner, they gossiped. Maybe! But, did they have the tug when they
invited me? How many rounds did we have in the tug?
&I was always stamped when taking
the bus or waiting in the line, and I was always waiting for the
others to say “I’m sorry” and was well-prepared for myself to say
“That’s all right”. But, on most occasions, they were silent as
lamps. My “That’s all right” kept to myself and had no letting-out.
For several times, it was I who said “I’m sorry”, which made the
one who should have said more silent and the others feeling
&As a teacher, my suffering of
impoliteness in class was innumerable.
&Normally speaking, before the
class, the students should greet and salute to Hou Ge. You would
probably say that’s the behavior done in kindergarten and primary
school. Ah! Maybe! Whatsoever, getting down to business without
greeting with each other is kind of weird. Really weird.
Normally speaking, when you are late for class, you
should say “May I come in?” When the teacher let you in, you should
apologize. You can not sit down unless you are permitted to do so
and saying “thank you” to the teacher. If you are so much late for
class, this kind of behavior is even more necessary. And the
apology should include several programs such as “reason” and
“promise”. One more thing is that you should also be prepared
you’re not allowed to get in.
&Normally speaking, when the
teacher asks some student a question or wants someone to do the
talking, such as “Zhang Sanfeng”, the student should answer
immediately “here” or “yes, sir”. But, in normal situation, I can
not make it clear whether this buddy exists or not, or whether he
is in the classroom. If he is in, I don’t know whether he hears me
&Normally speaking, when the class
is over, the teacher should be the first to leave the classroom.
But, the saddest thing is that when my class barely finishes, the
students all vanish one by one. The one left to shut down the
computer, pack up things, turn off the light and close the door is
me. When people who do not learn about the truth and catch me doing
such things will say as such: “when did you transfer to logistics
department at SISU?”(I’m not implying logistics blablabla…, but
logistics is not my division of labor!)
&Where is our politeness off to?
Maybe you will say this is at school, not in society. When we are
in society, we will do every polite thing. But I hear nothing like
“we can not do this at school, but we can do it in society”. The
courtesy in school is not done for the sake of teachers, but done
for the sake of cultivation and learning of courtesy. We can regard
this as a practice of courtesy.
If a student writes a paper, he will be glad to
send it over to the teacher. It is normal for the teacher to read
it over and make some comments. But the student should be polite
enough to send the e-mail to the teacher. He had better make a
phone call to make a request. Certainly, the more important thing
to do is to revise again and again and proofread, ensuring no big
mistakes. He can not send the draft to the teacher. He should be
polite to treat teacher’s comments and suggestion. If he wants to
send the revised paper to the teacher for checking through, more
courtesy is required. How can he save some force and energy for the
teacher? In other words, he should do everything not to keep the
teacher reading from the very start to the end. He should affirm
and thank to the teacher’s work. Apart from short-messages, e-mails
and phone calls, he should thank the teacher in person and face to
Whatever write a paper or accomplish homework or
take exams, we should pay some respect to our teachers. There is so
much to pay attention to. The most important is not to plagiarize.
The one who plagiarize pays least respect to the teachers.What
mentioned above is some experience from me. I haven’t compare
Chinese with Japanese and Americans yet.
Doubt said above is definitely heart- and I hope all of
you can prove to me that my doubt is completely wrong.
这个拔河的礼貌还可能继续下去（如商量下次是什么时候）。反正，Leech的意思是东方人请客是很客气的，其慷慨不仅体现在饭桌上，还在邀请的语言上。
&我常戏言不喜欢吃饭，不喜欢被邀请。也有一些学生尝试邀请，是的，猴哥不喜欢被邀请吃饭，他们说。也许吧。不过，他们请我的时候拔河了吗？拔河有几个回合？
&我坐车或者排队时常被人踩脚，等待对方说一句“对不起”，随时做好“没关系”的准备。可是，十有八九是对方无语。我的“没关系”说不出去。有几次我只能说“对不起”，搞得对方更是沉默，大家纳闷。
&作为人民教师，我上课的不礼貌遭遇可以说是不可胜数了。
&按理说，上课前学生得问候老师吧，还有敬礼什么的。你可能会说，那是幼儿园和小学的事。哈！也许。反正，我觉得没有互相问候就说正题是有点怪，怪怪的。
&按理说，迟到一会儿是要喊报告的，当老师让你进来时，你要道歉，得到上座的许可后才可以（致谢后）到你的座位上就座。若迟到得很久，这些更是必然的，而且道歉还得加上“理由、保证”等项目，还得做好不让进去的思想准备。
&按理说，老师要问谁问题或让某某发言，如“张三丰！”这个学生应该立刻应一句“有！”或者“Yes
sir!”。但是常常是我不知有没有这个老兄，或者他老人家在不在课堂里。若在，不知他听见了没有。
This tug of politeness may proceed for another while (for
instance, to discuss about the time for the next gathering).
Anyway, Leech means easterners are quite mannerly when inviting
people to dinner, with great generosity shown both on the dining
table and in the felicitous wording applied.
&I always jokingly say that I am neither really
into dining nor being invited to dinner. But some students still
try now and then guessing whether I am what I claimed to be when
being invited. They say maybe Brother Hou is indeed not fond of
dining anyway. I
But every time I get invited, do I tug with politeness? Or do I
make them suffer?
&& I often get stepped on my
feet when on a bus or queuing with many people. In this case, I am
always prepared to pardon them with words like “It doesn’t matter”
they say sorry. But 8 or 9 out of 10
people will keep silence. I can’t give the “sorry” word so that I
somehow popped out “sorry” only to make others more confused and
As a teacher, I meet with countless situations where rudeness
occurs. As a tradition, students should greet or salute their
teacher before a class begins. You might say it’s what kids do in
their kindergartens or s. Ha! Maybe. But I do feel a little
strange to get down to the point without exchanging greetings
When a student is late for class, it ought to be that she or he
makes the report to teacher for permission to go in. When allowed,
he or she needs to apologize before sitting down. It will be more
necessary especially when it’s a long delay. Apology should also be
accompanied by excuses and promises, along with preparation of
being rejected.
When a teacher asks someone, say a student named Zhang Sanfeng,
to answer a question or make a statement, he should instantly reply
with “Here” or “Yes Sir”. But all too often I can’t make sure that
he exists or whether this dude is attending the class or not. If he
is in the classroom, did he hear me calling?
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