【原创】航空幽默与名言合集（超大翻译，填坑完毕）
【原创】航空幽默与名言合集（超大翻译，填坑完毕）
链接文章很长，就不作搬运了。里面的很多内容颇富哲理，也有一些有趣的类比和和高端黑。谨与诸君共飨。Beining：1.量太大了。大家一起动手吧。2.没看完ACI的人不一定全能懂翻译的NETA。去补吧。3.没人要求，我就不一定按愿意翻了。
我得翻译到哪年。。。。。。。。。。。
Aviate, Navigate, Communicate.飞行、导航、交流。Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.真正高超的飞行员用高超的预估避免落入使用高超技巧的境地。Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane.第一条：无论咋地 专注开飞机。Flying is hours of boredom, punctuated by moments of stark terror.飞行就是几小时的无聊，加一些荒凉的地形。#看过PE的恐怕不会同意吧 但是的确无聊啊Fly it until the last piece stops moving.奋力开飞机 直到无力回天。It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.比起后悔在天上 还是后悔在地上比较好。An airplane will probably fly a little bit overgross but it sure won't fly without fuel.油带多了会飞的难受，但是没油是肯定不能飞的。Believe your instruments.相信仪表。Think ahead of your airplane.想到飞机前头。I'd rather be lucky than good.#有异议？
Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane.第一条：无论咋地 专注开飞机。感觉不对
The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? M then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.螺旋桨就是飞机前冷却飞行员的大风扇。为啥？螺旋桨不转了 飞行员就冒汗了。If we are what we eat, then some pilots should eat more chicken.#没法直译了：Chicken双关“鸡肉”和“胆小”。“ we are what we eat”是个俗语。I'd rather be a chicken than a turkey.宁可怂也不能作（zuo1）。Without fuel, pilots become pedestrians.没油了，飞行员就变乘客了。Regards engine power: Lots is good, more is better, and too much is just enough.关于引擎推力：多多益善，越多越好，过了也没事。# @If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn 'em back off.如果晚上迫降，把降落灯打开看着陆地点。如果不喜欢，就关上吧。A checkride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.测试飞行就像裙子————短的有意思，长的足够包上。#cover双关：“遮挡”和“包括”Standard checklist philosophy requires that pilots read to each other the actions they perform every flight, and recite from memory those they need every three years.标准检查单要求飞行员每次通报动作，每3年用一次记忆项目。#不理解的，去找本QRH看看“记忆项目”包括什么就明白了。。。Experience is the knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.经验就是知道自己掉进一个坑两次了。(The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911)智慧就是知道你之前是多贱B。————@
@ 这条的意思是：不要为其他事情分心。飞行是最重要的。例如不要全驾驶舱的人都去换灯泡。
@ 支持下翻译工作?!有些典故不看翻译的确难以领会。以下这条翻得有点问题＂Flying is hours of boredom, punctuated by moments of stark terror.飞行就是几小时的无聊，加一些荒凉的地形(bleak Terran?)。#看过PE的恐怕不会同意吧 但是的确无聊啊＂似乎后半句应为＂几小时的无聊被突如其来的纯粹恐惧（stark terror) 打破＂。
我也翻译了一些，水平有限，欢迎指正。There are some flight instructors where the student is important, and there are some instructors where the instructor is important. Pick carefully.有的飞行教官重视学生，也有些只顾自己。审慎挑选你的教官。Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.空速就是生命，高度则是生命的保障。#life insurance也作“人寿保险”。说的是高度换空速的简单道理。No one has ever collided with the sky.没人与天空碰撞过（——被地形撞死的倒不在少数，所以不能确定处境时先远离地面、保持飞行。）Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. (In other words, you take your own consequences and learn your own lesson. )另一位飞行员的计划不良不会（或不应）给我带来麻烦——一方面，谁犯错谁担责任；另一方面，机组中一人犯错不应导致整个机组陷入危难。It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than to be up there wishing you were down here.与其在天上哭天抢地，不如在地面刻苦练习。One peek is worth a thousand instrument cross-checks.向窗外的一窥胜过核对仪表千次。（论目视检查与摄像头对建立情景意识的重要性）Experience is a hard teacher. First comes the test, then the lesson.经验是位严厉的老师，先带来试炼，后给出教训。Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.时刻铭记，飞机因思而动，因智而翔。Never let an airplane take you somewhere you brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.永远不要将飞机带到头脑未预期的领域。（美航965、大韩801等）If it's red or dusty don't touch it.如果（按钮/开关或扳手）是红的或落了层灰，别碰它。Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.别撇下飞机去摆弄无线电。An airplane flies because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi.飞行依靠的是伯努利原理（流体力学），不是麦克斯韦方程组（电磁学/无线电通讯）。（Marconi常被认为是无线电通讯的发明者）Cessna pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.扭曲残骸中的塞斯纳飞行员常常是这个德行——手不在操纵杆上而是牢牢握着对讲。If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.推杆海阔天空，拉杆天地皆灭。To go up, pull the stick back. To go down, pull the stick back harder.想爬升，拉杆；想作死，拼命拉杆。Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.气垫船是为那些想飞却没地方可飞的人准备的。Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the first!飞行是史上第二震撼而刺激的事情——最刺激的是降落。
Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.降落后能走着离开就是“好”降落，如果飞机还能接着用便是“双加好”的降落啦!Definition of 'pilot': The first one to arrive at the scene of an aircraft accident.飞行员的ACI定义：首个到达空难现场的人。The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.作死成功的概率正比于撞地角度。There are two types of tailwheel (or retractable gear) pilot, those who have ground-looped (landed gear up) and those that will.这世上的飞行员要么已经机腹着陆过（忘放起落架），要么将会这么做。If you've got time to spare, go by air.(More time yet? Go by jet.)有空？坐飞机伐~有大把时间？坐喷气机伐~IFR: I Follow Roads.IFR（仪表飞行规则）：我顺着路开。You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.当滑行需要满推力时，你知道你刚才忘放起落架了。If you don't gear up your brain before takeoff, you'll probably gear up your airplane on landing.如果飞行前不放下杂念，降落时必忘放起落架。Navy carrier pilots regards Air Force pilots:&Flare to land, squat to pee.&海军飞行员致空军飞行员：Air Force pilots regards Navy carrier pilots:&Next time a war is decided by how well you land on a carrier, I'm sure our Navy will clean up. Until then, I'll worry about who spends their training time flying and fighting.&空军飞行员致海军飞行员：如果下次战争取决于降落于航母的熟练程度，我相信海军会凯旋而归；如果下次战争的关键不在于此，我就要担心那些整天不练格斗练起降的海军花架子了。Navy pilots regards Air Force formation flying skills:&Same way, same day.&海军飞行员形容空军队形训练：日复一日，周而复始。The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good shit. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.生命中最美好的三件事：肠胃舒畅，幸^福美满，超软着陆。夜间航母着陆能让你同时体会三者。A kill is a kill.一击一杀。He who sees first, lives longest.最先看见敌人（或险境）的人活的最久。Fighter pilots make movies, attack pilots make history.战机飞行员拍的是电影，攻击机飞行员才是写就历史的人。In thrust I trust.信推力，得永生。Jet noise: The sound of freedom.那扇叶的轰鸣，乃是自&由的长歌。I had a fighter pilot’s breakfast - two aspirin, a cup of coffee and a puke.我吃的是战机飞行员的早餐——两片阿司匹林，一杯咖啡，吐了一地。Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.晚上骑马子的人白天不配驭鹰。Fly with the eagles, or scratch with the chickens.欲与雄鹰同翔，勿与野鸡同^床...It only takes two things to fly, airspeed and money.飞行靠的是两件东西——空速和钞票。Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity, an airplane flies because of money.忘掉物理定律吧，飞机因钱而翱翔。Do you see that propeller? Well, everything behind it revolves around money.看见那螺旋桨了？那后面的所有东西都是靠烧钱运转的！The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.论ATC和飞行员的共性：ATC犯错，飞行员挂。飞行员犯错，飞行员挂。#乌伯林根是个例外——ATC挂了。Women! Can't live with 'em . . . can't lock 'em in the hangar.女人，唉！忍不了她们。没法把她们关在机库中。The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?The duck can fly.蹩脚鸭子和副驾驶的区别？鸭子会飞。
I'm from the FAA, and I'm here to help.我是FAA的，我是来为你提供帮助的。A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.超软着陆如亲吻妹妹一样激动人心。A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random in motion.直升机由一堆旋转和往复的部件构成，每个都想飞脱出去。Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.固定翼飞行员致直升机飞行员：直升机并不真的飞翔，她们只是太丑了，地球忍不住排斥她们。Helicopters don't fly. They beat the air into submission.直升机飞行员致固定翼飞行员：直升机并不真正飞翔，她们抽打空气至其屈服。Chopper pilots get it up quicker.直升机飞行员映得快（咳咳...）Flying helicopters is like masturbation, you enjoy it while it's happening but you're kind of embarrassed when your done.飞直升机就像看小电影一样，自我感觉良好但事后羞于见人。Helicopters don’t fly, they just vibrate against the earth and the earth rejects them into the air.直升机不飞，她们只是对着地球乱振，地球不能忍了把她们扔上了天。Helicopters are for people who want to fly but don't want to go anywhere.直升机为那些想体验飞行却哪儿也不想去的人量身打造。A four-time loser: the fellow who went to Texas A&M, joined the Marines, flew helicopters, and was hired by Braniff.彻彻底底的人生输家：去德州农工大学，加入海军陆战队，飞直升机，加入Braniff航空。It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.划破天际飞向蓝天胜过划破蓝天冲向地面。The owner's guide that comes with a $500 refrigerator makes more sense than the one that comes with a $50 million airliner.500刀买的电冰箱，其说明书靠谱程度胜过5千万刀的飞机。If it doesn't work, rename it. If that doesn't help, the new name isn't long enough.如果它不好用，换个名字；如果还不好用，换个更长的名字。（参见一些航电系统/航空公司/机型/麦道公司的演进史）Federal Aviation Regulations are worded either by the most stupid lawyers in Washington, or the most brilliant.联邦民航条例由华盛顿最精明或最愚蠢的律师写就。Flying is not Nintendo. You don't push a button and start over.
飞行不是任天堂，不能满血满魔原地复活。The seven P's:Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.7P：适当的预先规划防止烂成狗的表现。The future in aviation is the next 30 seconds. Long term planning is an hour and a half.民航的未来取决于下个30秒的认真飞行。长远规划指的是接下来的90分钟。Life is lead points and habit patterns.生命取决与电路焊点和飞行员行为的可靠。Gravity: killer of young adults.重力——年轻人的头号杀手。（各种航空、蹦极、跳伞、高难度滑雪、登山攀岩等）I'm not speeding officer — I'm just flying low.我没超速——只是飞得有点低。The only thing that scares me about flying is the drive to the airport.比起坐飞机，更值得担心的是到机场前的交通安全。Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?年轻人，您是把飞机落下来的还是我们被打下来了？（韩国，嗯...）Sorry folks for the hard landing. It wasn't the pilot's fault, and it wasn't the plane's fault. It was the asphalt.抱歉重着陆，不赖我们，也不赖飞机，是沥青的错~#谐音：asphalt沥青，也指ass's fault..Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.从别人的错误中学习。你没机会作死那么多次还活着回来。Three things kill young pilots in Alaska - weather, weather, and weather.阿拉斯加年轻飞行员死因前三名：天气，天气，天气。Please don't tell Mum I'm a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.请别告诉我妈我是飞行员，她觉得我是在夜总会弹琴的（嗯，比飞行员强）。Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty glass.飞行员力求洁净的生活——他们从不喝脏杯子里的酒（废话，本来也不能喝酒）。Never ask a man if he is a fighter pilot. If he is, he'll let you know. If he isn't, don't embarrass him.不要问一个飞行员是不是开战机的。如果不是，别羞臊他；如果是，他会让你知道的。FAA Regulations forbid drinking within 8 feet of the aircraft and smoking within 50 hours of flight. Or is it the other way around?FAA禁止在飞机8英尺内饮酒或在飞行前50小时内吸烟——唉我是不是说错了什么'Please see me at once' memos from the Chief Pilot are distributed on Fridays after office hours.首席飞行员发出的“请速来见我”通知通常在周五办公时间后发放。（在那之前大家都在外面飞呢是吧）Fly low and slow and don't tip on the turns.低飞、慢飞、转弯时别戳到地面。（有难度？那就别这么作死）There are no new ways to crash airplanes.
There are no new ways to crash airplanes.新飞机，老摔法。An accident investigation hearing is conducted by non-flying experts who need six months to itemize all the mistakes made by a crew in the six minutes it has to do anything.空难调查就是一群不开飞机的专家花六个月的时间总结机组在六分钟内犯下的错误。Things which do you no good in aviation:Altitude above you.Runway behind you.Fuel in the truck.A navigator.Half a second ago.Approach plates in the car.The airspeed you don't have.对飞行没有帮助的东西：你头顶的高度；你身后的跑道；油罐车里的燃料；领航员；半秒钟之前；忘在车里的近进表；你没有的空速。It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.迟到胜过早死。You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.开始学飞的时候，人品满满，经验全无。难的是积累足够的经验而不耗尽人品。The more traffic at an airport, the better it is handled.机场流量越大，ATC管理越好。If man were meant to fly, God would have given him baggy, Nomex skin.如果人生来就会飞翔，造物主会给他们松弛的芳纶皮肤的。If God had wanted the army to fly, he would have made the sky brown.如果上帝当年想让陆军飞，上帝会把天空造成迷彩的。If God meant man to fly, He'd have given us bigger wallets.如果上帝当年想让人类飞，他应该给我们更多的钞票。If God had meant for men to fly he would have made their bones hollow and not their heads.如果上帝想让人类飞他应该把我们的骨头而不是脑袋造成空心的。What's the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot.神和飞行员的区别？神不觉得他是个飞行员。（而飞行员觉得自己是神。）
@ FYI，我也翻译了一部分，水平有限，欢迎指正。另，请避免重复工作。
To err is human,
neither of which is Air Force policy.是人皆会犯错，是神皆知宽恕；这两样都与空军无关——他们从不容忍犯错。Fly crashing is dangerous.飞行并不危险，危险的是坠毁。You can land anywhere once.你可以降落在任何地方——但很多地方有生之年仅限一次。Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but not for one who still is.飞行对于那些怀有童心的人来说是超赞的职业，但不适合那些真的幼稚的人。There are four ways to fly: the right way, the wrong way, the company way and the captain's way. Only one counts.飞行有四种方式：正确的方式，错误的方式，公司的方式，机长的方式。坚持正确的方式。A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.一次成功的模拟器飞行如同一次成功的外科手术——在尸体上做的。Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.询问飞行员对FAA的看法无异于询问消防栓对狗狗的看法。Crime wouldn't pay if the FAA took it over and would go bankrupt if an airline management did.如果让FAA来管治安，那罪犯都将逍遥法外；如果让航空公司管理层来组织犯罪，那犯罪集团非弄破产了不成。I want to die like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.我想像我祖父那样安详地在睡梦中离世——不要像他身边那些尖叫的乘客那样。Trust your captain .... but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.信任你的机长——不过还是记得系紧安全带。An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.对于优秀的飞行员，飞机会让他失望，但不会让他吃惊。Winds aloft reports are of incomparable value - to historians.高空风力预报具有无可比拟的价值——对于历史学家而言。Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn (or London) Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls (or The Tower of London).如果一个飞行员还依赖进场区风力预报，那骗他买下鸟巢都不为过。如果他还依赖高空风力预报那可以把太阳卖给他了。The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.空乘和引擎的区别在于，飞机停稳后引擎就不发出噪音了。The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.那些飞回家乡的空乘是最友善的。Out on the line, all the girls are looking for husbands and all the husbands are looking for girls.在接站区，妹子们都在找她们的男人，男人们都在找妹子。
The most nerve-wracking of airline duties: the flight engineer's job on a proving run flown by two chief pilots.最让人精神崩溃的职责：作为一个飞行工程师身处由两位首席飞行员掌舵的测试飞行中。（888T...）Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.正确的判断源于经验，经验源于错误的判断。Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips.成为一位飞行员是多么美好的事情——如果他们不用非得飞每一趟旅途。Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.比起职业，航空更像一种顽疾。The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.飞机看起来越赞，飞起来越顺。Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun?既然飞行如此有趣，当初上帝发明女人作甚？！（Hint: To make the cockpit a better place.）Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?有任何时候，00xx是安全的，飞行是危险的么？If it flies, floats, it's always cheaper to rent than to buy.说起飞行、航行或ooXX，租总比买划算。Renting airplanes is like renting sex: It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday, the fun things always cost more, and someone's always looking at their watch.租飞机就像租00xx，假日临时短租总是困难的，想爽就要多花钱，而且总有人在计时。Jet and piston engines work on the same principle: Suck, squeeze, bang, blow.喷气引擎和活塞引擎工作原理是相同的：吸，挤，爆，吹（我又邪恶了...）Modern air travel would be very enjoyable ... if I could only learn to enjoy boredom, discomfort and fatigue.现代航空旅行将令人无限受用——假如我学会欣赏旅途中的无聊、不适与疲惫。You can always depend on twin engine aircraft. When the first engine quits the second will surely fly you to the scene of an accident.你总可以信任双引擎飞机——一个引擎挂了，另一个还是能毫无压力地带你到事故现场滴。The real value of twin engine aircraft is it will double your chances of engine failure.双引擎飞机的价值在于倍增了引擎失效的概率。（5APU，咳咳）
CAUTION: Aviation may be hazardous to your wealth.警告：航空可能危害钱途。If it ain't broke, don' if it ain't fixed, don't fly it.没坏就别乱修，没修好就别乱飞。A mechanics favorite: It's not a leak, its a seep.机务的最爱——那不是漏油，只是油渗出来罢了。And another: If it won't budge force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.如果什么东西卡住了，要相信大力出奇迹。真掰弯了的话——嘿，反正也是要换掉的嘛。If it’s ugly, it’s B if it’s weird, it’s F and if it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian.丑飞机，英国造；怪飞机，法国造；又丑又怪，俄国造。The worst day of flying still beats the best day of real work.最难受的飞行也远胜过最轻松的工作。A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.男飞都精神分裂——跟女人谈论飞机，在飞机上谈论女人。About aerobatics: It's like having sex and being in a car wreck at the same time.空中特技——如同在扭曲的残骸中ooxx。New FAA motto: We're not happy, till you're not happy.新FAA格言：先天下之乐而忧，后天下之忧而乐。A grease-job landing is 50 two in a r three in a row and someone's lying.一次超软着陆是运气使然；连着两次纯凭运气；连着三次？有人鼻子要变长了。There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.只要掌握了三个要领，包你次次超软着陆——我们目前还在寻找第一个要领。It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.如果你还能把舱门打开，那就是一次“好”的降落！
First, listen to the question the student asked, then listen to the question he didn\'t ask and then figure out the question he really meant to ask.作为飞行教员：先聆听学员的问题，再思考学员没问的问题，最后确定他真正想问的是什么。Airspeed, altitude, you always need at least two.空速，高度，想法——飞行至少需要两者。A groundschool instructor understands piloting the way an astronomer understands the stars.地面飞行学校的教员对飞行的理解如同宇航员对恒星的理解。Every groundschool class includes one ass who, at 5 minutes before 5, asks a question requiring a 20-minute explanation.每堂地面飞行课程都有一个蛋疼的家伙在下课前5分钟问一个需要20分钟才能说明白的问题。Gravity, it\'s not just a good idea, it\'s the law.重力——不仅是想法，更是铁律。The Law of Gravity is not a general rule.万有引力定律不是一个普遍的定律。You can only tie the record for flying low.你最多只能追平低飞的纪录。Flying at night is the same as flying in the day, except you can\'t see.夜间飞行和日间飞行也没什么区别嘛——除了你什么也看不见。It at first you don\'t succeed, well, so much for skydiving.如果你第一次没成功的话——那以后你也没机会玩跳伞了。
Is that a fuel cup in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?你铥（T\'m）在逗我么——你兜里那东西是油箱盖么？！？！It is easier to cope with a single in-flight problem than a series of minor ones. Real trouble must be swallowed in small doses.处理一项大问题比一堆小毛病更简单——真正的问题需要少量多次地解决。It\'s no wonder England serves beer warm, Lucas manufactures most of their refrigeration equipment.难怪英国的啤酒都是温乎的——他们的冰箱都是Lucas造的。（Lucas你敢不敢靠谱点）It is said that two wrongs do not make a right, but two wrights do make an airplane.两个错误不会变成一个正确（Right，与莱特Wright谐音），但两个莱特确实造出了飞机。When starting an aviation career it is not unusual to be overwhelmed, terrified, suffer from lack of confidence and be just plain scared.初入航空领域，被压倒、摧垮、吓尿方为常态。As experience grows, self confidence replaces fear . . . but after a time, when you think you have seen it all, you realize your initial reactions to flying were correct.当经验积累起来，自信逐渐取代了对飞行的敬畏。但当你自信爆棚的时候，你终会发觉你本该对飞行心存敬畏。Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.乘客喜欢老机长和小空姐~A captain with little confidence in his crew usually has little in himself.对机组没信心的机长通常对自己也没什么信心。（色厉内荏，外强中干...）
The only soul more pitiful than a captain who cannot make up his mind is the copilot who has to fly with him.比没有准主意的机长更痛苦的是他身边的副驾驶。The sharpest captains are the easiest to work with.直率的机长最易共事。The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.比没当过副驾驶的机长更糟的是当过机长的副驾驶。Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.对你的副驾驶好些——你跳槽的时候没准他反倒成了你的机长。A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.副驾驶是个看不见正前方飞机的笨蛋——看见了之后又忙着自责而不去避让。A captain is two flight engineers sewn together.一个机长相当于把两个飞行工程师绑起来。Everything in the company manual - policy, warnings, instructions, the works - can be summed up to read, 'Captain it's your baby.'56条政策，56道工，56本飞行指导是一家，56本手册，汇成一句话——这架飞机是你的啦是你的啦~~~~是你的啦，咋开随你便啦~是你的啦，你要照顾好她~是你的啦，全都是你的啦~是你~的啦!Nothing is more optimistic than a dispatcher's estimated time of departure.没有什么比调度估计的ETA更乐观了。C an 18-hour layover passes much quicker that an 8-hour day.钟表骗人——18小时的宾馆过夜过得比8小时的工作快多了。Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game is in the wrong game.任何不认为自己是业内最棒的飞行员都入错行了。As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will be:a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight.b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is your last flight.作为一名飞行员，你只会遇到两种坏事——某日，你踏着沉重的步伐走向驾驶席，知道这将是自己的最后一次飞行。某日，你欢脱地走向驾驶席，全然不知这将是你最后一次飞信那个。
It is always better to have C sub &t& greater than C sub &d&. Or more plainly, thrust should exceed drag.（前半句是位置段子——可能很邪恶）*****，简单说来，推力一定要超过阻力。Definition of a Goonie Bird pilot: A man with an interest in aviation but a basic fear of flying.信天翁飞行员的定义：对飞行有兴趣而存敬畏的人。（信天翁以平稳和长距离的滑翔著称——so does Gimili Glider & Air Transat）For those who don't care, fly military air.对那些满不在乎的人——去军队飞吧（他们有弹射座椅~）Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.美国空军其实就是一个有弹药的高端飞行俱乐部。Unofficial grading standards for low level navigation:You can't be lost if you don't care where you are.低空导航非官方定义：如果你不在乎你的方位，那你不会迷路滴（瞎飞呗）。Jets airplanes are just an expensive way of changing JP-4 into noise.喷气机是将JP4燃油变成噪音的昂贵机器。It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.尽可能让尖端指向正前方（论协调的飞行）。Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.假设是各种曹氮事情的根源。If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.如果看过几集ACI就自认行家的人真能开好飞机，这地方就是个机场了。
The average pilot, despite the sometimes swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.平凡的飞行员，尽管有时不可一世，在情感方面还是蛮健全的——只要这情感不需要第二个人的参与。Gravity is bullshit: The Earth sucks.重力是热翔，地球是壮士。（重力来源于地球巨大质量所带来的万有引力）It's better to die than to look bad, but it is possible to do both.难堪还不如去shi——但有时的确可以死得很难看。Death is a small price to pay for looking shit hot.死亡只是换取地狱烈焰的微小代价~Work hard, fly hard, play hard, and stay hard.努力工作努力飞，努力玩耍努力gan。If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.如果你的直升飞机还没出毛病，别担心，快了。Helicopters are really a bunch of parts flying in relati all rotating around a different axis. Things work well until one of the parts breaks formation.直升飞机就是弄一对机械绕着各种轴转来转去。转得协调，一切正常，阵脚一乱，大难临头。Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac helicopter, even if this is technically a form of flying.飞胜过（摔飞机后）走，走胜过跑，跑胜过爬，爬胜过被直升机运走——尽管理论上这也算飞。If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough money for a Bonanza.
If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough money for a Bonanza.如果上帝的本意是让人类飞行，他应该给我们足够的钱来买一座金山。If God had wanted me to fly, he would have made me flush riveted.如果上帝本想让人类飞行，他应该把我们做成钢铁侠那样的[多柳蒸钢]。Two of the most dangerous things in the world are a South Georgia pulpwood truck, and a doctor in a split tail bonanza.世界上最危险的两样东西是南佐治亚州的原木车（小心滚木...）和一个好运中断后的医生。（来源请求？）The three most dangerous things in aviation are a doctor in a Bonanza, two captains in a DC-9, and a flight attendant with a chipped tooth.世上最危险的三样东西是某个我不会翻的东西，一架双机长掌舵的DC9和一个牙上有豁口的空乘。What do you call a pregnant flight attendant? Pilot error.某空姐怀孕了，NTSB的调查结论是——机师失误。Son, you let a stew ride your lap, next thing you know she'll want to talk on the radio. Then she'll want to land the plane. Give a woman an inch, she'll want the whole twelve. Thank God.孩子，你这次让空姐坐你大腿，下次她就会要求在麦克风上讲话，直至要亲手降落飞机。女人，得寸进尺之所在啊，切记！Nothing flies without fuel,so let's start with some coffee.飞机以钢铁制造，靠燃料飞行——所以我们先来点甜蜜沙漠吧~子曾经曰，人是铁，饭是钢，一顿不吃饿得慌。One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the quality of the social experience.单人机组的美好在于社交体验的质感。We are from the FAA and we are here to help you — and every thing you say will and can be used against you in a court of law.我们是FAA的，我们前来帮助你——而你说的每一句话都可能被用作呈堂证供。What separates flight attendants from the lowest form of life on earth? The cockpit door.是什么将空乘和世界上最低等的生命分隔开来？驾驶舱门。The three most common phrases in airline aviation are &Was that for us?& &What'd he say?& and &Oh Shit!& Since computers are now involved in flying, a new one has been added: &What's it doing now?&过去航空业使用频率最高的话是：“那是给我们用的么？”“他说的是什么？”“卧槽！”鉴于现在驾驶舱都数字化了，又多了一句：“这玩意在干嘛？”（换灯泡的故事...）
If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame in on pilot error.如果地震震裂跑道导致空难，NTSB也会在调查中找出机师错误的。Tell someone you work for another airline and he'll tell you how much better yours is.如果你对某人谈起你供职的航空公司，他会告诉你你那家比他的好多少的。The most sensitive mechanism in modern aviation is the shower control in a layover hotel.现代民航业中最精密的控制机构是过夜宾馆的浴室水阀。If flying were the language of man, soaring would be its poetry.倘若说，飞行，是男人的语言，那翱翔天际，便是最美的诗篇。You only need a glass ship to make up for the wooden pilot.你只需要一条玻璃船来弥补一个呆板的飞行员。（某些海滨观光圣地有玻璃底的船供游人饱览水下美景。）Gliding is to power flying as seduction is to rape.无动力滑翔之于有动力飞行，如同爱抚之于强暴。Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.墨菲定律：任何试图勉强飞长程的行为必定招致强烈的逆风。Any comment about how well things are going is an absolute guarantee of trouble.墨菲定律：任何关于一切是多么正常的评论势必招致麻烦。A terminal forecast is a horoscope with numbers.近进区天气预报如同占星算命。A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.暴风雨的从里面看去绝没有在外面看那么糟——只会比从外面看更糟。
Below 20, boys are above 25, they are too prudent.学飞行——20以下太冲动，25以上太谨慎。Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form.孩子，我开始飞行的时候你还是液态的呢。I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richtor scale.我给这次降落打9分——按照里氏震级。Most airline food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that\'s what it is.大部分的航空食品如同重复加热过的鸡肉——什么如同，本来就是。I hate to wake up and find my co-pilot asleep.我讨厌醒来的时候发现副驾驶睡着觉。Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong, then one pilot gets all the blame.所有的事情都是团队协作来完成的，直到出现问题——那之后，一个飞行员为大家背黑锅。In a world in which we are all slaves to the laws of gravity, I\'m proud to be counted as one of them freedom fighters. Skydive!在一个众人皆为重力奴役的世界中，我很自豪能作为自油逗士中的一员。跳伞去喽~！If it ain\'t Boeing — I ain\'t going.非波音不飞！Let\'s make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!我们来转个圈离开这鬼地方吧！！！（粗暴无理的管制...）Don\'t trust nobody and don\'t do nothing dumb.别谁都不信任，别做什么都说一句。One who flies with fear encourages fate.对飞行心存敬畏者方能不作死。
It\\\'s easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.做航空很容易变成百万富翁的——假如你是个亿万富翁。Pilots are just plane people with a special air about them.飞行员不过是周围有特殊气场（air,空气/气场）的平凡（plain平凡，谐音plane飞机）人。There I was at forty thousand feet when the autopilot jumped out with the only parachute on board and left me with nothing but a silk worm and a sewing kit.在40,000英尺高空，那该死的自动驾驶带着唯一的降落伞跑了，只给我留下了一只毛虫和一个针线包！There I was at 15,000 feet with nothing on the clock but the maker\\\'s name - and that was on the back and peeling.我在15,000英尺高空的时候那仪表上除了制造商的名字什么也没有——而且那制造商的名字还铥在背面还掉漆了！！！There I was, fog was so thick I couldn\\\'t see the instruments. Only way I knew I was Inverted was my flying medals were in my eyes. But I knew I was really in trouble when the tower called me and told me to climb and maintain field elevation.雾，是那么大，我都看不清仪表了。我认识到自己在倒飞的唯一途径，是那呼在眼睛上的飞行牌(奖章?)。然而，当ATC让我爬升并保持场面高度时，我知道大事不妙了。The RF-4E Phantom - living proof that if you put enough engine on something . . . even a brick could fly.F4鬼怪式战机充分说明了——只要推力足，板砖能上天。When the last Blackhawk helicopter goes to the boneyard, it will be on a sling under a Huey.当黑影退役移至坟场的时候，运送她的将是休伊直升机。（即休伊的设计更历久弥新。）The three biggest lies in Army aviation:1. You\\\'re the only crewmember available.2. Don\\\' I\\\'m not the regular crewchief.3. Wait right here, Sir. The crew bus is on it\\\'s way.陆军飞行员面临的三大谎言：1、没别人可派了。2、别问我，这不归我管。3、您稍等，机组巴士马上就到。
If you don't know who the world's greatest fighter pilot is... It ain't you.如果你不知道这世界上最伟大的战机飞行员是谁，那肯定不是你喽。Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down.亮面朝上，布满油污的面朝下。（别倒飞）Don't forget to keep the blue side up.别忘了让蓝色在棕红色的上面。（别倒飞-ADI版）When you're sitting in the rubber raft looking up where your airplane used to be, it's too late to check the flight plan当你坐在橡皮筏子里找自己的飞机时，检查飞行计划晚矣。A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.蠢人很快将运营超过管理能力数量的飞机。Aviation has created many millionaires, primarily from the ranks of multi-millionaires.航空业造就了很多百万富翁，这些人主要来自千万富翁以上阶层。Some pilots will make an emergency out of a bad magneto check. Others, upon losing a wing, will ask for a lower altitude.某些飞行员在磁导航出问题后便会宣布紧急情况；另一些则会在失去一侧机翼后淡定地请求更低的高度。
Definition of a complex airplane: landing a taildragger on pavement with a 20 knot quartering crosswind.精密复杂的飞机之定义：能在20节侧风下降落的有后三点式起落架的飞机。When a forecaster talks about yesterday\'s weather, he\' when he talks about tomorrow\'s, he\'s reading tea leaves.当天气预报谈论昨天的天气，他是历史学家；当谈论明天的天气，他基本在靠猜。The main thing is to take care of the main thing.最基本的事情——就是管好最基本的事情！（Rule No.1, fly the airplane!）Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.操纵飞机比将你的意愿通过无线电讲给地面不真正理解你处境的ATC更重要。A thunderstorm is nature\'s way of saying, \&Up yours.\&在暴风雨中，聆听那大自然的律动，你将听到：——“去你妹的”！Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the tail — the end does not justify his means.一瓶子不满半瓶子咣当的飞行员如同牵着老虎的尾巴——你觉得你行不代表你真行。In the aviation business, you can\'t get something for nothing. But if you aren\'t careful, you\'ll get nothing for something.在航空业，你不会无缘无故遇到麻烦，但如果你不小心，的确会由于某种缘故分文不进。The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the \'down\' position.机腹着地后，飞行员都知道离开前将起落架放操纵杆到“放下”的位置。
Remember, you’re always a student in an airplane.记住，在飞机上，你永远是学生。K there's always something you've missed.保持警惕，关注周围——你总会漏掉些什么的。Fuel in the tanks is limited. Gravity is forever.油箱中的燃料是有限的，重力则是永恒的。Never trust a fuel gauge.永远别相信你的油量表（Gimili Glider...）Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.努力让你的起飞次数与着陆次数相等。Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.起飞都是自愿的，降落都是被迫的。Son, if you're trying to impress me with your flying, relax. Most of the time I can't even impress myself.孩子，如果你试着通过你的飞行给我留下深刻印象，放轻松点。有时候我自己的飞行都不会给我留下深刻印象的。
Flight Instructor Favorites飞行教员最爱：You don't know what you don't know.当你不知道某件事情的时候，你很难意识到。Much of what you think you know is incorrect.大部分你认为你知道的事情都是错的。Together, we must find out why you don't know what you don't know.我们必须联手找出你不知道你所不知道的东西的原因。（目前这个原因还不知道）It is practice of the right kind that makes perfect.正确的练习方能造就完美。You will never do well if you stop doing better.如果你止步不前，就永远开不好飞机。Students never fail, only teachers do.学员从不失败，失败的是教员。A student's performance is not so much a reflection on the student, as it is on the instructor's ability to teach.学生的能力与其说取决于学生的努力，不如说取决于教官正确引导与指导的能力。Learning is not a straight line up... let the teacher set the standards of performance.飞行不是一夜练成的，要允许教员设定渐进的评价标准。Much of learning to fly is to unlearn preconceptions and habits.大部分的飞行训练是为了改掉不良习惯而非养成什么习惯。The way you are first taught and learn a procedure is the way you will react in an emergency. It's important to learn right the first time.你第一次学习一个流程时的所作所为决定了你在紧急情况下如何反应，所以第一次就学到正确的反应方式是十分重要的。（反例：Cross Air 498, Air France 447等）
Unlearning is a very necessary and difficult part of learning to fly.忘却是飞行学习中最必要和艰难的部分。You learn according to what you bring into the situation.你在训练情景下遇到什么问题决定了你能学到多少。Being prepared for a flight saves you money by saving time.为飞行作充足准备可以节约学成所需的时间，进而节约钱（飞行学校的学费蛮贵的）。Given the choice, make the safe decision.枚举每种可能的选择，做出最有利安全的决断。If you must make a mistake, make it a new one.如果你非要犯错，一定要犯个之前没犯过的错。One problem is a problem, two p three problems create accidents.一个问题是一个问题，两个问题就是事故征候，三个问题就是事故。Trusting to luck alone is not conducive to an extended flying career.只凭运气不利于长久的职业飞行。We progress thro we learn through our mistakes.我们在重复的成功中升迁，在自身的错误中学习。An instructors knowledge is proportional to the mistakes he's made.一个教员的知识正比于他犯过的错误。Good habits deteriorate over time.好习惯随时间而消逝。
Accidents happen when you run out of experience.当你的经验到达极限，事故随之而来。Self instruction is the garden that raises bad habits.自学是坏习惯的温床。Our failures teach us. If you want to increase your chances of success double your failure rate.失败给我们的教训是，如果想要提高成功率，要先犯过两倍的错误。... almost always. Nothing is always.几乎总是，但没有什么总是如此。Luck will do for skill, but not consistently.运气可以取代技术，但不能持久。The nice thing about a mistake is the pleasure it gives others.犯错误的美好一面是它带给他人的欢乐。You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.你不可能永远年轻，但可能永远不成熟。Flying, like life, is full of precluded possibilities.Can't do... won't do... shouldn't do…飞行，如同人生，充满着被排除的可能性：不能，不会，不应...What you know is not as important as what you do with it.你知道什么不重要，重要的是你做了什么。
Why an Airplane is Better Than a Woman (or a Man).为何飞机胜过情人Airplane skin doesn't wrinkle as badly.飞机蒙皮不那么容易起褶子。Airplanes don't take forever to warm up.飞机很快能进入状态。Airplanes like to do it inverted.飞机喜欢正常姿态。It's easier to get 'trim' in an airplane.修理飞机更容易。You can keep an airplane from stalling.你能让飞机不失速（或不停下来）。Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.飞机上动几个开关就能让她进入状态。An airplane won't slap you for being a 'bush pilot.'飞机不会因你不够温柔而抽你。You don't always have to be on top to ride an airplane.驾驭飞机时你不必总在最上面。An airplane doesn't ask you to put on a raincoat before entry.飞机不会要求你进入前套上雨衣。An airplane's thrust to weight ratio is higher.飞机的推♂重♂比更高。You can easily leave an airplane before sunrise.你可以在日出前就离开飞机。Airplane exhaust fumes smell better.航空燃油闻起来更好。Airplanes lose weight faster.飞机能更快“减肥”。An airplane does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'如果你“Touch and go”（触地复飞，或摸摸就走），飞机是不会介意的。An airplane's performance is seldom hindered by weather.飞机的性能很少受天气影响。An airplane will not get mad if you ride someone else's airplane.飞机不介意你开过别的飞机。An airplane's cockpit is cleaner.飞机的驾驶舱更卫生。You can calculate the peak performance of an airplane.你能通过计算预测飞机的峰值性能。An Airplane is easy to roll over.飞机很容易推倒。You can still activate a fifty year old airplane.50岁的老飞机一样好飞。Up to five people can ride in the cockpit of an airplane.飞机驾驶舱可容纳多达5人哦~Airplane's last longer.飞机更持久。Airplane's don't droop after many years.飞机很多年都不会蒙皮松弛。You can always tell when an airplane is going to give out.你总能知道飞机什么时候会坚持不住。An airplane moves when you tell it to.飞机总按你的指令行动。
An airplane will kill you quick . . . a woman takes her time.被飞机害死短暂无痛，被女人害死是漫长而残酷的。An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.飞机不介意飞行前进行体检。An airplane will let you use your dip stick anytime you want.飞机的杆你想用就可以用。Airplanes don't make you 'pull-out' to eject.客机不会要求你拔出以弹♂射。You can change the looks of an airplane.你可以改变飞机的外观。Airplanes come with manuals.飞机是有操作指南的。A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.747能让你爽14个小时呦~Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.飞机的重量和平衡性是受严格限制的。When you put fuel into an airplane, it does not spit it out.当你向飞机注入燃料，她不会吐出来。Airplanes curves never sag.飞机的身姿永远曼妙。Airplanes last longer.飞机恒久远。Airplanes don't get pregnant.飞机不怀孕。You can fly a airplane any time of the month.飞机整月都可以飞。Airplanes don't have parents.飞机没有丈母娘。Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.飞机不会乱叫，除非真出了什么问题。}